Leaving Apastron
by Sarasusamiga
Summary: Kaga and Tsutsui, postseries. A midgame interruption can last for years—but it doesn’t mean the match has ended.


Title: Leaving Apastron

Fandom:_ Hikaru no Go  
_

Disclaimer: Series created by Yumi Hotta and Takeshi Obata. No harm is intended nor profit gained from this fanfiction.

Characters/Pairing: Kaga and Tsutsui

Rating/Warning: Teen (implied same-gender attraction, slight language).

Summary: Post-series. A mid-game interruption can last for years--but it doesn't mean the match has ended.

Author's Note: Story was written for October 2007 challenge at LiveJournal's "HnG prompts" community. The fic may count as divergent future--I haven't read the full manga, so don't know the details of any canonical interactions between Kaga and Tsutsui after middle school. For a definition of "apastron," see http // imagine. gsfc. nasa. gov/ docs/ dictad. html#apastron (remove spaces). (My use of the term would probably sound awkward to an astronomer, though!) I also drew inspiration from my treasured Hikaru no Go pencilboard, pictured here: http // img. photobucket. com/ albums/ v349/ sarasusa/ screencaps/ kagatsutsui.jpg (remove spaces).

* * *

Kimihiro props himself against the row of sinks, blinks until the red tiles of Constellation Lounge's bathroom swim into focus. Not for the first time, he regrets having chosen when he entered university to switch to contacts. Even with the solution he's just put in, his eyes are gritty with barroom smoke. 

He's regretting coming along on this group date as well. His roommate (and fellow school psychology major) Kanda had eventually worn him down: "You've got to get out of your shell, Tsutsui. Enough moping over your ex."

Kimihiro suspects the invitation had more to do with achieving gender balance for the gathering than any particular solicitude of Kanda's. _Still, he_ does_ have a point._

Yumi had been a friend from the university go club, a little taller than Kimihiro and much livelier, eyes brilliant behind her spectacles. Their breakup, supposedly "amicable," sent him into a tailspin: Kimihiro had stopped going to club activities, instead circling mindlessly through days of classes, homework and helping out in the family bookstore.

_This at least is a break in routine; I'd better take advantage of it._ Kimihiro stiffens his shoulders, sets his hand to the restroom door--

Only to pitch forward as it's abruptly swung away. Clawing for support as he goes down, Kimihiro's fingers drag against rough denim--regardless, he whumps belly-first on the sticky floor. _So much for_ this _shirt._

"Whoa, sorry--my bad," says a rough-edged voice. Hands descend on Kimihiro's upper arms, haul him upward.

Trying to school his face into a semblance of courtesy, Kimihiro looks up at the stranger. Shock erases the trite response he'd planned.

There's no mistaking those fox-slanted eyes, that rust-colored hair, even if Kaga now wears his hair clubbed in back and sports a jeans-jacket and leather pants.

Another man comes up alongside Kaga, leans on his shoulder. "Hey, knocking people over now? The guy may be smart," this to Kimihiro, "top of our year in Physics--but he's a little rough-and-ready for polite company."

"Shut it, Asou," Kaga retorts, his brows knitted as he continues to survey the hapless Kimihiro. Suddenly, Kaga's eyes widen. Mortified, Kimihiro realizes he's been rubbing the bridge of his nose--a nervous habit he thought he'd left behind with the glasses.

An incredulous smile spreads across Kaga's face. Kimihiro's abruptly released, only to have the air knocked out of him again as Kaga traps him in a once-familiar headlock. "If it ain't Tsutsui! Of all places, I swear!"

Dislodged, Asou looks them up and down. "You know this guy?"

"Middle school classmates," confirms Kaga, mussing Kimihiro's hair and beaming. "Played Go."

"Go? You?" Asou's saying, but Kimihiro barely hears. His face must be beet-red by now. "You haven't changed," he mutters. Kaga's sleeve smells of tobacco; Kimihiro fights the urge to sneeze.

"Eh?" Kaga peers down at him.

"You mean Tetsu-chan was like this as a kid? Already flam--bnkh," finishes Asou as Kaga casually reaches over and clamps his nostrils shut.

"So Tsutsui, you here on your own?"

"It's a get-together with some classmates. Look, they're probably wondering where--"

"Ditch 'em," Kaga interrupts succinctly. "Asou's soused, so I'm gonna turn him over to his keeper, and then you and I are going to go somewhere else and talk, all right?" Kaga ushers both Kimihiro (protesting in vain) and Asou (spluttering for breath as Kaga continues to lead him by the nose) back into the milling crowd of bar-goers.

--o-o--

"I was the designated driver for my friends, you know," Kimihiro says icily as they step out of Constellation.

"So? Let 'em take the train. Besides, they seemed plenty cozy with the girls they were chatting up." Kaga pauses, raises his eyebrows. "What, you drive?"

"I'm not a total incompetent, you know," Kimihiro snaps. "I've had my license for years."

"Whaddaya know. Little Tsutsui-kun, all grown up, driving, wearing contacts, no more puppy fat--" Kaga flicks a finger against Kimihiro's cheekbone.

"Damn, that hurt, Kaga." Kimihiro glares, rubbing at his cheek. Kaga smirks.

They stroll in silence a while. Kimihiro becomes aware of a pulsing flutter in his stomach. After a few more steps, he experiences a lurch of recognition. It's like the anticipatory, happy agitation he felt during his early dates with Yumi—and it's incredibly disturbing in this context. "There's a coffee shop," he says hurriedly.

Kaga orders black coffee, while Kimihiro sticks with tea. He's finding it hard to maintain eye contact.

Kaga clears his throat. "Ohhhkay, let me get this out of the way."

Kimihiro looks up to meet Kaga's unblinking stare. "What?" he says when Kaga appears disinclined to continue.

"Sorry I wound up not going to Haze for high school." Kaga says it in a rush, then scowls. "It's not like we hung out all the time, but we looked out for each other, and I was kind of expecting you'd always be around, somehow, you know?"

Kimihiro's too astonished to reply. He'd had a fair idea of how Kaga--how most of his classmates--thought of him in middle school: nerdy, diffident, easy to tease. It was odd to have the assumption challenged.

"Why apologize?" he says after a moment. "Didn't your family have to move?"

Kaga gives him an indecipherable look, then takes a long gulp of coffee. "Listen," he says after wiping his mouth with the back of his wrist. "I learned a lot from you in middle school. I never got around to saying thanks for it, and that's bugged me."

Kimihiro's mouth has dropped open; Kaga snorts.

"Plus, the one time I catch sight of you after we graduated, you're on a date with some chick." Kaga leans across the table, prods Kimihiro in the chest. "And you were carrying around a how-to-date book, in plain sight. I mean, what the hell."

Kimihiro's pleased feeling has vanished in a red haze. He strikes Kaga's hand aside and stands.

"Fine, so I was an idiot then. I'm still an idiot." All his middle-school uncertainties are boiling up, mixing with his weeks of depression over the breakup and the strangeness of this whole evening. The only thing that's clear is that everything is Kaga's fault. "I don't understand relationships; all I understand is how to study, how to work hard, and even then I'm no genius like you." His voice is trembling--it makes him more furious. "I'm still goofing up, even today, still as weak as you think I am."

He looks down, rummages in his pocket for money to pay for the tea. All he wants is to get away from this, from being made to _feel_ again.

"Tsutsui."

Kimihiro inhales deeply, starts counting out bills. "What."

"There's something else I need to tell you."

"You think I care?"

"You might."

Kaga's hand, dry and large, covers Kimihiro's fingers. Unwillingly, Kimihiro looks up.

"You're giving me a ride home." Kaga's mouth quirks up. "You haven't gotten around to thanking _me_, after all."

"Who would thank you?" Kimihiro says. He stares at their hands.

"You, for the Go game we're going to play tonight."

"You've lost me."

Kaga's smile broadens. "I know. But I've found you again."

--o-o-- --o-o-- --o-o--


End file.
